The Mean Reds

Raise your hand if you know what the “Mean Reds” are.

From the time I was a teenager, my go-to, feel good, pull me out of a funk movie has been Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Teenage girl + Tiffany’s reference + my first name is Audrey = obsessed. I related to Audrey Hepburn’s description of the “Mean Reds” as a teenager and it remains relevant to adult me.

“The means reds are horrible. Suddenly you’re afraid and you don’t know what you’re afraid of…When I get it, the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany’s. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could

happen to you there”.

-Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn)

The mean reds are an overwhelming feeling of anxiety or dread, worse than the more

recognizable “blues”. For Audrey’s character, the cure is often visiting Tiffany’s for its sense of calm and security. The Mean Reds are a relatable feeling of deep existential anxiety and her iconic solution highlights a desire for a peaceful, stable place in an otherwise chaotic world.

It should be noted that Audrey’s character, Holly Golightly, doesn’t even need to go inside Tiffany’s; her calm is accomplished by merely looking in the window. Adult me now knows this is a beautiful example of the concept of grounding.

Grounding is a string tethering your calm to the deepest part of you. When life turns chaotic and the world grows loud and unsteady, it can feel as though your calm has floated far away .Grounding is the gentle act of pulling on that tether, drawing yourself back home. It is an anchor in rough waters, a reminder that steadiness still exists within you. Grounding can live in many places: the rhythm of your breath, the poetry of movement in yoga, ardent prayer, the comfort of a soft blanket, a trusted image held in your mind, visualization of a place that holds joy and safety for you. Holly instinctively does what we now teach intentionally: she removes herself from triggering environments, seeks out a safe and familiar space, and anchors herself to something predictable and comforting.

When I experience my own version of the Mean Reds, they sometimes show up as a quick rant. Once I get it out of my system, I can recover and move on. But other times, they linger. In those moments, I need a reset—something calm, safe, and joy-evoking to ground myself. A cozy blanket, a comforting cup of tea in a pretty cup, and re-watching my ever faithful Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

So what is your Tiffany’s? Do you have a feel-good tool that grounds you when the Mean Reds take hold of your peace and calm. For many people, discovering this takes investigation, trial and error, and a bit of curiosity. One task I often give patients is deceptively simple: make a list of pleasant activities. That’s it—just a list of things that bring you joy. Sometimes I offer a pre-made list they can explore and experiment with. It sounds easy, but you might be surprised how many people struggle to name what genuinely makes them feel good.

Intentionally seek out your Tiffany’s moments and keep them in your emotional toolbox. Keep them close at hand so that when the Mean Reds strike, you have a reliable escape -a grounding tool that brings you back to a place where you feel calm, content, and ready to experience joy again.